Balcony View Assignment

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Version I

We had just finished dinner and Ebert & Roeper was on TV. During commercial, Brian bragged, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen a movie at a theater; I don’t even miss it at all.” He has a thing about going to the movie theaters. I myself had just been to the theater last week and saw a really good movie. “When I was at the theater last week, it wasn’t too bad. There were only a few people in there and I got there late enough that I didn’t have to sit through the ads. I saw the trailers though, and the one for Fast Food Nation looked pretty good.”

I looked at Brian, “Do you know that book?”

“Well, yeah, I’ve read it.”

“Oh, well they’ve made a movie about it.”

“What do mean?”

“They’ve made a movie about it.” I repeated slowly.

“What...how? Out of the book?” He stuttered.

“Right--It’s a film based on the book.”

“So they made the movie right from the book?” He always has to be so literal.

“No,” I explained again. “It’s not a documentary, it’s a movie based on the book.

He sat in confused silence.

“What is so hard about this? It’s a movie based on the book; it is not a documentary.”

“I don’t get it.”

I got up and went into the kitchen, yelling after over my shoulder. “I said it’s a movie!!! It’s not a documentary. “What don’t you get?” I threw my dishes in the sink.

“Well, a documentary is a movie.”

“No, a movie is a movie, a documentary is a documentary.”

Exasperated, I sat back down on the couch and the show came back on TV. I decided to let it go...some things you just need to let go.

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Version II

We were finishing dinner and watching Ebert & Roeper on TV. This reminded me of how much I hate going to the theater--all the people, the 10 minutes of commercials you have to sit through, cell phones, kids--it ruins the experience. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen a movie in a theater,” I reminded Tammy. “I don’t even miss it at all.” She replied, “When I was at the theater last week, it wasn’t too bad. There were only a few people in there and I got there late enough that I didn’t have to sit through the ads. I saw the trailers though, and the one for Fast Food Nation looked pretty good.”

She couldn’t have gotten that right, especially because she's always getting things wrong. How could a film possibly be made from a book filled with facts and statistics—with no story at all? “What?” I asked, incredulous.

Tammy asked, “Do you know that book?”

“Well, yes, I’ve read it.” Of course—she should know that.

“Well they’ve made a movie about it.”

I still couldn’t believe it. “What?”

“They’ve made a movie about it.” She repeated as if I were an idiot—a sure sign she was getting upset.

“A movie out of that book?” I asked.

“It’s a movie based on the book.” Her voice was starting to rise.

That sounded ridiculous and I knew what she meant, but she was getting so irritated I kept on asking about it. “So they made the movie right from the book?

“Well, it’s not a documentary, it’s a movie based on the book.” She was getting louder now.

“I don’t get it.”

“What’s so hard about this?” She was getting angry. “It’s a movie based on the book; it is not a documentary.”

“What? A movie is the same a documentary.” I argued.

That got her going. She got up and left the room, and was now yelling. “I said it’s a movie!!! It’s not a documentary, what don’t you get?”

“But a documentary is a movie.” I pointed out, smiling to myself as I heard her throw the dishes into the sink.

“No,” she argued. “A movie is a movie, a documentary is a documentary.” She came back into the room. She had no real argument.

The show came back on, and I figured I’d annoyed her enough and let the whole thing drop.

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Version III

They were finishing their dinner and watching Ebert & Roeper on TV. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen a movie at a theater; I don’t even miss it at all.” He said, sounding quite pleased with himself. She replied “When I was at the theater last week, it wasn’t too bad. There were only a few people in there and I got there late enough that I didn’t have to sit through the ads. I saw the trailers though, and the one for Fast Food Nation looked pretty good.”

He looked at her as if she were speaking a different language. "What?"

She looked back at him, “Do you know that book?”

“Well, yes, I’ve read it.” He said, as if it should have been obvious to her.

“Well they’ve made a movie about it.”

“What?” he asked incredulous.

“They’ve made a movie about it.” She repeated.

“What? How?” he stuttered.

They went on back and forth like this for three minutes, arguing over whether a documentary is a movie or not. He sat there asking the same questions over and over again as she got more and more impatient.

She got up and left the room, yelling, “I said it’s a movie! It’s not a documentary, what don’t you get?” There was a clattering, as if she threw her dishes into the sink.

He sat there smirking, as if he knew he’d struck a nerve and was enjoying the argument. “But a documentary is a movie.”

“No,” she shot back. “A movie is a movie, a documentary is a documentary.”

She came back into the room and sat down. The show came back on and instantly they both stopped talking. Minutes later it was clear they'd forgotten what they were arguing about.