Part One

Last weekend was my birthday. Usually, this is when my brothers and sisters call me and we visit a while. My parents also call, unless I call them first. My daughter has still not called me, so I should call her after I finsh this assignment. Anyhow, I also got a call from my ex-wife.

Normally, this is not a problem or a conflict. She signed away her parental rights at the beginning of last summer, so we have no reason to talk, except that we've known each other for 20 years and have one child in common.

My ex-wife suffers from bipolar disorder with hypomania. That means she's a bit manic/depressive. Okay, a lot manic depressive. She calls me.

Our conversation was three stories about how God is showing her that we're supposed to get back together. One was a book that I gave to our daughter (my step-daughter)several years ago in hopes that she would read it and it would help get her life together. She finally is reading it (I don't remember the title or I would share it) and wants her mother to read it too. My ex sees this as God's work.

Next, she and a friend of hers were talking and her friend asked her if she ever thought of getting back with her ex husband. My thought at this point was that she has two, why me?

Then came the story about how she is finally kicking out her boyfriend of seven years so that she can get her life together and do what God really wants her to do. I'm thinking that she's around 7 or 8 years too late in this. She claims that she's afraid to live alone, but that will be the only way that she is going to get her life together and on track so that we can be together.

I was in shock. I'm still in shock. I emailed her the next day telling her that we were NOT going to ever get back together. There's no advantage for me, only more work.

Part Two

I called Andy for his birthday. I have a plan that I'm sure he'll go for and will get us back together. I'll tell him how much that book he gave to Mashelle means to her and how it's helping her. Then I'll tell him that she's wants me to read it because she thinks it will help me.

I'll probably need to kick Rick out. I'll tell Andy how badly he treats me and calls me names. Andy will want to help. He always does. He also always agrees with me, at least at the end of things. He'll never know if I really kick Rick out. That way I don't have to really be alone. He'll never know.

Next, I'll tell him that a friend of mine, who happens to be a really good Christian, thinks that God is wanting me to get back with Andy. I'll tell him just enough to get him thinking about it so he'll wonder. In a couple weeks I'll give him a call and we'll talk about more wondrous things that God is doing in my life to lead us back together. I can't do it without God, so I know that Andy will believe me.

Part Three

Mom called Dad for his birthday. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, except from Dad's side of the conversation. Usually when he talks to Mom that means he says, "Hmmm," "How about that?" and "Isn't that something?" All of which he was saying a lot.

I don't really get why Mom calls him. I'm scared of her. She's always got so much going on. Everything's exciting to her. I don't really get it.

When I see her she spends most of the time talking to Dad about things. She says maybe three or four times that she misses me or that she loves me. "How's momma's baby?" is one of her big lines.

Dad talked to me a few minutes when the conversation was over. He seemed a bit stunned, not unusual for him after talking to Mom. He told me that Mom thought God was telling them (through her) that He wanted them back together. Before he could finish, I said, "I know. It's NOT going to happen."

He continued with that stunned look and nodded.